Tuesday, 31 May 2011

I am not good at video games.

I have not had a games console of my own for many years.

I owned a playstation. I remember playing a game in which you go around on scooters... I never managed to do well enough on it to unlock other runs/ parks though, so I just alternated between the two starter hills. I was really bad at it.

I then owned the PS2. I used it to play DVDs.

I was also the proud owner of a skateboarding game, in which I believe you had to shoot paint at people? And things? I can't even remember what console it was on, let alone what you had to do. But it goes without saying that I was bad at it.

Since then I have not owned a console of my own.
It didn't matter. I was bad at games and didn't care for them.

But then I went to university.

It all started with an innocent bit of FIFA with my flatmates. We grew addicted. We stayed up till 3, 4 in the morning playing game after game. Now, this doesn't mean I got good at it. I just freaking loved it.

Then a friend invited a few people round for drinking and gaming. He had FIFA, the first two Assassins Creed games, and Portal. Weeks passed in which I was content to play casually at his house, once or twice a week, and kill the rest of the hours I wanted to play games by watching LPs on youtube.

But now uni is over and there is no one I know that's near me whose house I can take over. And I've got the whole summer ahead of me. I need to buy my own console.

I told the story of how I started to get into gaming to set the scene for this question. PS3 or XBox? I'm definitely going to want FIFA (might just get '10, I don't really care), Portal (and Portal 2), Assassins Creed (1 and 2, probably not Brotherhood), and LA Noire.

It should be noted that I'm still BAD at gaming. I'm not a hardcore gamer. I don't really like the classic first person shooter games involving killing lots of people for whatever reason. Obviously Portal is a first person shooter that's fantastic, and Assassin's Creed is killing people. Lots. No objections to killing and no objections to first person shooting. But in general they bore me. So spending a lot of money (that I don't have) just wont be worth it. With this in mind- should I buy a console of my own? And if so then WHICH?!

Thursday, 27 January 2011

Epic Greeting Fail

I'm a nerd. A huge nerd. And it's not just because I like Harry Potter (though I do). Or Doctor Who (though I do). And it's not just because I like nerdy things in general (which, of course, I do). It's because I CAN'T DO SOCIAL INTERACTION.
I am so fucking awkward that it's unbearable.

So I've just walked out of Dillons with a bag containing milk, bread and crisps at about 10 o clock. Mum had noticed we were out of milk and bread for the morning and sent me down the village to pick some up, and I'd decided I was hungry and wanted crisps. Fair enough. This is normally an event with absolutely MINIMAL interaction with other human beings. I can deal with it.

So when I spot someone I vaguely know walking towards me... I begin panicking. This person is a 16 year old chavy boy who lives two doors down from me. My parents are friends with his parents, his older sister went to Sandringham and for 5 years I got the bus with her every day. Do I know him enough that we have to greet each other? Or do we just do that nod thing? He was with a chavvy friend and I barely even know his name. Basically, I'm silently freaking out as we walk towards each other.

He calmly looks at me and says "Alright?". Thank god, right? I know this one. I know the response to "Alright?" is just "Alright?" straight back. It's like saying "Yes I'm alright, are you alright?" all in one. Like a modern day "How do you do?"

But no. In my fucked up mind "Alright?" actually requires "Yes, I'm good thanks. How're you?" But by this point we were just about to pass each other... So I stumble over my own feet and squeak "Yes thank you, and you?" and of course I'm 5 feet past these kids before I finish so I am just talking to myself. How cool am I?

And yet, sadly, this type of thing happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME. I'm a loser, I'm a loser, I'm a big fat losery loser.
Oh, and you know what's worse than people who say "Alright"?  People who feel that we know each other well enough to hug each other. We don't. Please, please, just don't hug me.